I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
time to smoke my breakfast
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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