It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
