PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
