If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Randomize
