1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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