I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
