I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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