Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
