..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
