Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
