He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
