K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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