Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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