If i come over, it means nothing
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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