The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
