He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
