I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
