Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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