I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
