Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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