Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
