You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
