Screwed.edu
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
