There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
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