Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
We were destined to go to rehab together
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I want to fling myself into the sun
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
