Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
