wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
