Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
