There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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