Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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