whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I would ride that face into the sunset
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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