don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
