The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
