Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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