like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
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