She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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