Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
