I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize