my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
