You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
