I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
