um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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