Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Can I color on your dick again?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Randomize
