My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
