Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
