she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
