Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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