Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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