we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
