just come out here and I will go home with you...
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
