yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
